Today at the park, I watched my 3.5 year old tag along after one of the most annoying, bossy 7 year olds I've ever met. This kid was "my way or the highway" and, the hardest part, Ethan loved him! Quite possibly because it was the only boy, maybe because all the girls were talking princesses and cooing over the baby, highly likely because the boy liked Lego Star Wars; but still, the kid was annoying. Annoying in the way that he called a scaredy cat for not climbing all the way over the monkey bars (my awesome boy just ignored him and changed the subject, score 1-Ethan*). I just watched them interact, kept my opinions to myself, Ethan handled himself well.
This boy is definitely not one of a kind, he just had a lot of attributes that turned him into a bossy, know it all, where most kids only have a few. But, he got me thinking, and worrying.
First, how do you teach your kid to be a leader, not a follower? Are they born that way, do they learn from us? When he was in MOPS, Michael always said he did his own thing and other kids would usually follow him, or not; but at the park he always seems to be tagging along with other kids, not creating his own path.
Second, does it matter? As long as they're not compromising their beliefs and values, or submitting to peer pressure?
Then the subject of bullies. How do you handle your kid being bullied? How do you handle it if your kid turns into a bully? I've been reading a bit about how to teach younger kids to deal with anger, and other emotions, but mostly anger. Do you teach them to walk away or stick up for themselves? Where do you draw the line?
Ethan watches too much tv, its true. Especially now that Lucy is here, it's hard to keep him entertained while I'm nursing so the tv usually gets turned on. It's something I am willing to admit and it's something that we're working on. But when the tv's on I have the struggle of what's appropriate. He loves Disney Jr and Nick Jr but he also likes shows that are a little more mature, Iron Man, Transformers. Here's my dilemma, I like the shows for younger kids because he learns things and they're safe, but they're not real. Life isn't a Handy Manny episode and I almost feel like if I don't let him watch the other shows he will be too sheltered, he won't know that there are bad guys or that not everyone wants to share and help out. I guess the easiest way to solve that one is just turn the tv off and go experience life first hand.
It's so easy when you know your husband, family and yourself are your child's biggest influences, but now that he is starting to learn from other children, it's getting a little tougher. He starts preschool in September, I'm very excited that he'll be interacting with a consistent group of kids, his own age, and that there will be teachers with a little bit more experience in this then me.
And now you've had a glimpse into my inner monologue, my worries and stresses. Always in the background of daily life, how do I raise this human to be the best version of himself?
oh wait, and now I have to worry about another one? Crap, I think I'll just go make some cookies.
*Of course I'm not really keeping score, not really.
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